I recall being nineteen years old and having just given birth to my son. People were asking when I was going to return to work. When I told them I was a stay-at-home parent and planned to be for a long time, they always complimented me on my good fortune. Or how grateful I should be for that opportunity. But all I could think was, “then why am I so fucking lonely all of the time?”
While I am glad for the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom for the past four years, it has also been one of the most difficult periods of my life.
People are continuously talking about the positive aspects of it. Spending more time with your children, witnessing their first milestones, and other such things. But no one warned me about the drawbacks and mental health issues that came with it.
Nobody warns you about how quickly you will lose your patience, or that you will be unable to leave the house for days at a time. Nobody warns you about how difficult it is to ask for help when you need it. Nobody warns you that it is not easy. It’s mentally exhausting.
Nobody informs you that no matter how many hours there are in a day, you’ll never feel like you’ve accomplished enough.
Nobody warns you about how exhausting it is to be stuck in the same routine every day. The same pile of dishes, the same load of washing, and the same toys scattered across the floor.
Yes, I am grateful for the opportunity to stay at home with my children. That isn’t to say I can’t talk about how difficult it is. You’re not the only one who feels this way. We all struggle to carve out “me” time. We all have a hard time asking for help. We all deal with the feeling of being alone.
It’s freaking lonely being a stay-at-home mom.